unmistakable change

well. it's been a while. i know one person that cares, maybe some more, but that's ok by me.
i still pretty much suck at resting. it's been a year and much has changed, but i have about as much idea today as i did a year ago what it means to rest.
if you're read this far that's awesome because here's the meat.
i got out of my car today after 2 days of getting hammered at an acts 29 bootcamp. there is alot i need to sort through and i thought this might be a venue to process (prayerfully for the benefit of others.)
as i said, i got out of my car and started to walk to the BSM i kicked something. I almost didn't stop but something inside me was stirred. As I looked down I saw a round object that looked like a coin. On further inspection I think it is a penny, but i'm still not sure because it is maimed almost beyond recognition. As I usually do, I picked it up. I pick up pennies and give them to people and tell the story of the God who pursues lost coins. Today God said- that's you and i picked you. not cuz you're awesome. not because you are anything pretty, because you aren't and we both know it. that's you. let me make a story out of you."
so here i am again. i'll tell my story as truthfully as i can. it's gonna hurt, but surgery always does. it's scary. like throwing your bread on the water. a wise man once said "it's easy to run on the sand close to the water, but if you want people to see where you've been you're gonna have to wade through mud."