what if i can't?

life is short. we can never know if the chai we are drinking will be our last. life is fragile and fleeting. coming and going at random. oftentimes we have no ability to understand the circumstances surrounding us.

why pain? why grief? why partings? why? why? why?

there can be no answer. there must be no reason.

the choice is before me. clear as any. can i say that God is blessed whether He gives or takes away? Can i?
why am i still here? why did i come to see the light of day? can i believe God's promises? can i really believe that sorrow may last for the night, but joy will come in the morning?

What if i can't?

What if i just don't have the faith to believe? what then?
when the tears flow, not for myself, but for others. not because i understand, but because i don't, i wonder, "is it possible that the greatest pain that can be experienced is for someone else?" if so then my pain is not the deepest. my wound is not the deepest. my wounds have been healed?
and just like that a car jumps a median and hits my brother. no chance to react.
our decisions are like diamonds. once formed we may chip away at them but can never unmake them.
oh the grace i see in my life- when i have been spared from stupid decisions. when my life has been spared- protected? why? i know not. only i must not be ready to go. oh how i want to be ready. oh how i long to see my jesus face to face to hear well done faithful servant. to follow in the footsteps of the countless millions who have gone before me. to be cast upon the hands that grace has wrought.
i have been bought with the same price as all those who call upon the name of jesus to be saved, i am, by His grace alone, a child of the King. For His redemption I will wait.

moment that changed your life

so one day i was walking down the street drinking a cup of chai. as i crossed the street a car nearly hit me and i was afraid i was going to die. instead he swerved into a ginormous puddle and splashed water all over me. i spilled my chai. it was sad. i was soaking wet. this day changed my life. i learned to only chai while dry... this story is completely false.
what moments have changed your life?

to dive or sail

a group of men set out to explore an island.*
as they seek they find a shore
that leads them to the sea.
they sit down to discuss (over chai of course)
the best way to explore its entirety.
Hither and thither the discussion runs till all at once a man-
races from the group, dives in the sea, beginning to swim away.
Before he leaves his words ring out "To the deepest deep i go!"
following him closely a man disagrees-"to sail is best indeed!
embarking on a voyage beyond the realm of 'me'
I sail, across this sea to see all there is to see."

the others are puzzled. they drink their chai.
the sea bekons them nigh. How shall we go?
To depths or to cross? They drink and sit and think.
Then all at once they stand and began to join their boats as one.
They leave the shore sailing and diving each to his own as one.

*no it couldn't move through time and space. they were not there due to a plane crash or a boat crash. they were just there. accept it.

superhero powers

I hate to waste this post on an empty blog, but here goes...

Today I ate at subway with some friends and had a huge cup of green tea with honey. It was amazing.

I'll come to the point. Superheros are awesome. I don't fully understand our fascination with them, well that's not entirely true... but it's definitely for another post.

So my question is this. if you could have one superhero power, what would it be and why?