Sunday, November 28, 2010

fears...

the last couple days i have been faced with fear. i have been reminded of long forgotten nightmares. dreams of being killed in a car wreck. wondering whether or not i am dreaming or awake (thank you inception.) that moment of deja vu when i can't figure out whether or not i have been in this situation before.

"how do i deal with fear? how ought i to deal with it?"

editorial sidenote: i'm still not sure about this whole blogging thing... suggestions welcome! it is my belief that communication is the goal of blogging- thus it is my desire to actually start conversations through the things i write about- so feel free to comment.

i hate answering questions. i am terrified that the one thing i actually come to want will be the one thing i cannot have. i am afraid of being alone. as i type these things a slight smile spreads across my face- by saying these things "in public" they have in some sense lost their power for this moment. i reach past my computer take a sip of my grande iced coffee i needed something a little stronger than chai today :)
do you want to be free?

1 comment:

  1. It seems easier for me to get focused on fears that on joys in the days approaching for my time in Asia (and everything before then). In encountering this question myself, I have become left with the urgings of Paul (to look to thing eternal...lovely...good) and then with the urgings of Christ to look on Him and believe. Clinging to truth in the moments. It doesn't mean that what you fear won't happen... or hurt. It means that Jesus is always better. And then there's always the truth that needs to be proclaimed that we should not be anxious in anything. It is a difficult task as humans :] But, I guess in our fears we should ask ourselves what we truly believe, and seek Jesus. haha Doesn't necessarily make it easier, but worth pressing through.

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